There Goes My Life full version
by hooked-on-degrassi
Summary: with a little convincing from BellaVision, I decided to make this into a full story. Jalex isn't working and Jay ends up hooking up with Emma who is VERY different in the story and it turns into a relationship. but big surprise, something happens...
1. Ch 1 The way We Talk

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Degrassi, if I did, Emma would still be a main character, Holly J would be with Spinner, JT would be alive, ect…

**A/N:** I decided to expand on my songfic _There Goes My Life_, so you should know the jist of this story. It's going to begin in season four, Jay is still with Alex…for now, he's hooking up with other girls besides Emma but not Amy (he would touch that girl with a 39.5 foot pole, lol). So Alex will never find out about him cheating, but they both know the relationship just isn't working anymore. Enjoy!

**A/N 2.0:** This is going to be mostly third person POV, but Jay's thoughts are going to be in _italics_.

Chapter One

The Way We Talk

_It was yet another Friday night I spent at the ravine. Me and Alex used to come here together all the time, but now she's too busy with student council and the play to have any fun with me anymore. Then again, maybe she just doesn't _want_ to have fun with me anymore. We used to be so close, joined at the hip practically, and she used to be different to, a female version of me. But now that she's friends with Marco and crew, it's like she's outgrowing me or something. But I don't really want to think about that, I just want to have fun._

Jay put down his beer and let his eyes scan the crowd, they landed on one pretty face in particular, Emma Nelson.

She had been coming to the ravine a lot lately. She never hooked up with anyone, just got drunk and danced around the bonfire with a bunch of other girls. Just one of the many changes she had gone through, like her clothing choice as well, which now resemble a cross between Ellie Nash's and Manny Santos's. Every so often though, Jay would catch her sneaking glances at him. Tonight though, she wasn't dancing, she was lying on the grass watching the stars.

_Little Miss Nelson sure has changed a lot lately. Still flat as a board, but she sure dresses better, and isn't as whiny and annoying like she used to be._

Jay got up and walked over to the spot where Emma was spacing out. After a few moments, she blinked and slowly turned her head to face him.

"Hey." She said slowly, her eyes unfocused.

"Hey." He replied with a smirk. "What are you doing?"

Emma considered his question for a few seconds before replying, "Just being."

Jay let out a chuckle. _What in the world is this girl on?_ "Well, can I 'just be' with you?"

She slowly turned her face back towards the sky before she answered "Sure."

Jay laid down next to her very slowly and watched the stars with her for a few moments in silence. Finally he turned his face towards hers and broke the silence.

"Okay, so what exactly are you on?"

She turned her face once again very slowly towards his. "What do you mean?"

"I know you're weird Nelson, but this is pushing it." He joked, suppressing a smirk.

"I'm not high, I'm just…" She paused, trying to find the right words.

"Being?" Jay suggested.

"Thinking."

_Yeah, okay. _Jay smirked. "Well what are you thinking about that's got you acting like your high as a fucking kite?"

"I don't know. Nothing, everything, life, death…" She sighed as she turned her attention back to the stars.

"Death?" Jay queried with a raised eyebrow. _Great, she's gonna turn into a vampire chick too now._

"Yeah." She breathed, not elaborating.

"Any reason why?"

She turned back to him again, but with a tired look on her face. "Why do you think?"

"I think you're a pretty lucky girl to come out of a situation like that without a scratch." He said cautiously.

"Well I must be a very lucky girl, because I seem to escape death time and time again." She sighed and sadly turned back to the sky.

_This girl sure is a trip._ "Why don't we talk about something else?" Jay suggested, attempting to get her attention back.

"What if I don't want to talk?" Emma asked before turning back to him with a different kind of look on her face.

_Well that was unexpected._ "Then we won't talk." Jay said as he traced a finger along her arm.

Emma leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Jay returned the pressure and after a few moments deepened the kiss. They shifted so she was half under him, and continued to make out for the rest of the night. Later, as Jay was driving home, he could still feel her lips on his, and he shook his head. _That girl sure is something else._

The next weekend Jay was at the ravine again, and this time Emma wasn't dancing, or lying on the grass, she was sitting on Jay's usual picnic table, two beers in hand.

_A woman waiting for me with a beer? I think I could get used to this._

"Hey." Emma said as she watched Jay approach her.

"Is that for me?" He gestured toward the unopened beer in her hand. She nodded and handed it to him. "So how come your not dancing?" _Or tripping shit on the ground?_

"I was waiting for you." She said, a smirk playing on her lips.

"And what you expect me to dance?" _Yeah, not happening._

"Well I was hoping you would." She said coyly, while looking at him from under her long lashes.

"No." he said firmly as he took a swig from the brown bottle.

"Hmm." Was all she said.

"What?"

"Well it's probably better this way. I mean, you wouldn't want to embarrass yourself or anything…" she trailed off looking away from him.

"I can dance." He said in defense.

"If you say so." She said coolly. _Who does this girl think she is?_

"Fine, I'll show you." He said standing up.

"Alright." She responded, a smirk forming once again on her lips. _Oh she's good._

They danced well into the night by the fire, Emma's body getting teasingly close to Jay's before she finally pressed up against his and moved her hips to the beat of the music. After a few songs with Emma taunting Jay with her hips, Jay couldn't take it anymore. He turned her around and kissed her deeply until both of them were left breathless. When they broke for air, Emma took his hand and lead him to the van. But as they got close, she turned around and kissed his cheek.

"I'll see you later." She whispered and began to walk away.

"Tease." Jay groaned.

Emma turned back to smile seductively at him, but never stopped walking. He watched until she was no longer in sight, then smiled to himself. _This girl is gonna be the death of me._

**A/N 3.0:** The name of this chapter is a song. I think The _Way We Talk – The Maine_ kinda fits this chapter, and you can find it on my profile. I'm going to choose a song for each chapter and then put a link to a playlist on my profile.


	2. Ch 2 Now That i don't Have You

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Degrassi, blah, blah, blah…

**A/N:** so as you can tell, Emma is fairly OOC in this fanfic. I figured I would make her change more than she did in the show after the shooting. She's the one in control of how far her and Jay take their "relationship."

Chapter Two

Now That I Don't Have You

As the weeks went on, Jay spent more and more time chasing Emma down by the ravine. They would, dance, drink, talk, and fool around, but every time it seemed like they were going to take their little hookups to "the next level," Emma would just give Jay her sly smile, peck him on the cheek and be on her way. It drove Jay crazy; she was beginning to become all he could think about. He didn't even hookup with other girls anymore because he was always looking for his blonde vixen. And if she didn't show at the ravine, he'd be in too lousy of a mood to even think about anybody else.

Jay watched as Emma walked through the cafeteria one day. She was wearing a short black ruffle skirt, a strapless black corset with red laces, and black ballet flats. Her hips swayed as she walked, making the material of her skirt move back and forth against her long legs. Jay could feel his jaw drop as he watched, but quickly closed it as Alex approached.

"Hey, babe." Alex greeted Jay with a peck on the cheek _just like Emma does_ as she sat down next to him. "How's it goin?"

"Good, good. How's running the school?" Jay asked, as his eyes followed Emma to her seat at an empty table.

"Exhausting." Alex complained and began to run off a list of this she had to do while Jay nodded in all the right places, not really listening.

Emma stared at him from across the cafeteria and slowly took a bite of her apple. Jay watched as she licked her lips after she did so, and couldn't take his eyes off her. _God, does she even know how sexy that is? What am I saying, of course she knows, she's not innocent little Green Peace anymore, she's- _

"Jay!" his thoughts were cut off by an angry Alex.

"Huh?" was his brilliant reply.

"Jeez, you're not even listening to me." She said exasperated.

"I'm sorry, I was just-" Jay started but was once again cut-off.

"No forget it. I know you don't care about this stuff." Alex sighed.

"I care." Jay mumbled.

"Jay, stop." Alex took a deep breath. "I don't think this is working anymore."

"What do you mean, Lexi?" Jay frowned.

"I mean you and me. Can't you feel it? It's like…" Alex tried to find the right words.

Jay sighed. "We're not the same people anymore."

"Exactly!" Alex agreed.

"So what, we're just over? See you later, have a nice life? Done?" he questioned.

"Jay maybe we're just not right for each other anymore. But I don't see why we can't still be friends. It's you and me against the world, remember?" Alex said sadly.

"It seems you've joined the world's side these days." Alex just looked down at her hands when he said this and Jay sighed. "I guess I'll see you around, Lexi." Jay said as he got up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Jay." She whispered as he walked away and out the doors of the cafeteria.

_Damn, I knew this was coming, but damn. Me and Lexi used to always be on the same page, but now… I barely know her anymore. I guess it's best this way, I mean can I really complain? I've been cheating on her for weeks with…_

"Emma." Jay said as he saw her slip out the doors of the cafeteria as well.

"Hey." She smiled softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I knew this was coming for a while, it's just… I don't know." Jay shook his head as he tried to sort out his feelings.

"You can talk to me you know. I can be a pretty good listener… when I'm sober." She gave a short laugh.

Jay smiled at her as he took a step closer. "I know you're pretty good at other things too… whether you're sober or not."

Emma smiled as he leaned down to kiss her, but stepped aside at the last second. "Call me later." She said and blew him a kiss as she backed away. He was about to say something when the bell rang. _How does she do that?_

Jay did call her later, and they ended up meeting at an old playground. They sat next to each other on the rusted swings, the moon lighting their faces.

"So what happened?" Emma asked quietly as she slowly twisted her swing back and forth, she was wearing the same outfit, and Jay couldn't take his eyes off her legs.

"We just... changed." Jay explained. "She started hanging out with different people and we've been kinda drifting since. You know what I mean?"

"Mhm." Emma nodded, encouraging him to go on.

"She used to be my best friend. Ever since middle school. We were practically the same person, so it made sense to start dating a couple years ago. But now," Jay paused and looked up towards the sky "she's a completely different person."

"It's like she abandoned you." Emma said softly.

"What?" Jay asked trying to search her face to see what she meant, but it was turned towards the ground.

"Even before today, just her changing. She was leaving her old life, and you, behind. She didn't mean to do it, I doubt she wanted to hurt you, but that's just how life goes. People change… and friends drift apart."

Jay studied her and thought he saw a tear slide down her face, but couldn't be sure. "How do you know that?"

She shrugged. "I've been through that. Sean found you, Manny found Paige, JT has Liberty, and at Toby found…Rick." She shivered a little when she said his name.

_Woah _"Emma… do you," Jay paused trying to figure out a way to ask without being offensive. "Do you not have any friends anymore?"

"I have you." She replied with a small smile as she turned to face him. And he was right, he did see a tear fall before, there were tear stains on her cheeks.

"Yeah," he said shyly "you do." _But do I have you?_

Emma closed her eyes slowly and Jay leaned in to kiss her, and she didn't pull away. _I'll take that as a yes._

**A/N 2.0:** I figured I give you some really cute Jemmaness as well as a better look as to why Emma changed. Would you stay the same if all your friends left you and someone tried to kill you? Anyway this chapter's song is _Now That I Don't Have You – Jill Sobule_. I think the song is too slow, but the line "and fall for someone who's sad but true" fits this chapter perfectly. Emma may have her problems, but she's always honest with Jay (even if she's a complete tease with him sometimes). Oh, and this is Emma's outfit:

outfit: .

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	3. Ch 3 You Get Me

**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own Degrassi. I don't even live in Canadia! Lol

Chapter Three

You Get Me

While Emma and Jay get closer and hangout more than just in the ravine, they haven't let anyone else see their friendship, if that is what you would like to call it. Playgrounds at night, and far way beaches and piers are all fine places to talk, or do other things, but in the halls of Degrassi, or at The Dot? Forget about it.

Jay watched as he did every day as Emma walked across the cafeteria to her empty lunch table. She was looking quite sexy as she always does in her tight bright blue skinny jeans, black tank top with some kind of monster on it, and black peep-toe heels. Jay sighed as he looked around. Alex was sitting with Marco and crew, while he was sitting with Towerz, Amy, and a few others whose names he didn't know, while Emma sat all alone.

_I can't do this anymore._ He got up and strutted across the cafeteria, ignoring the confused looks he got as he slid into the seat across from Emma.

"Hey." He said happily.

"What are you doing?" Emma asked while trying to ignore people whispering around them, and failing.

"Sitting with my friend." He smirked. "I can do that, right?"

"I suppose." She said after composing herself.

"Alright then." He nodded.

"Alright then." She repeated with a smile. _For once you did the right thing, Hogart._

Jay sat with Emma everyday during lunch and they began to hang out in the mornings and between classes as well. Now that people knew about their friendship it didn't matter where they went, though the benefits part to their friendship was still kept private. Why should they let people know what they're up to when they don't even know themselves?

"Hey, Jay" Emma began one day while they were sitting in the food court of the mall.

"Hey Emma" Jay mocked as he munched on one of her cheese fries.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked while concentrating on her coke.

"Anything. Shoot." Jay said wondering where all the shyness was coming from.

"What are we?" Emma asked as she looked up at him.

"Um humans?" Jay joked.

"You know what I mean, doofus." Emma rolled her eyes.

"Well we're friends" Jay said and Emma gave him a look. "Okay, well we're more than friends, but I don't know. You're like the most important person in the world to me Emma. Why does there have to be a label on whatever it is we're doing?" Jay queried.

"You are to me too Jay, you're my best friend, but I don't know," Emma stopped to gather her thoughts. "I guess I just like to know where I'm at, where we stand."

"Where we stand?" Jay raised his eyebrows.

"Like, I don't know, how would you feel if I kissed another guy, or can we see other people or…" Emma trailed off thinking of other possibilities. _Another guy?_

"Is there another guy?" Jay asked, not liking the fact that his stomach just dropped to the floor.

"Well no, I just meant, I don't know…" Emma tried to get her thoughts out the right way but was failing miserably. _She looks so cute when she's all frazzled like this. Wait, frazzled? What am I a pansy?_

"You mean," Jay began while putting a hand on Emma's shoulder to calm her down, "are we exclusive?"

Emma sighed in relief. "Well, yeah."

"Do you want to be exclusive?" Jay asked.

"Well, um, if you want." Emma replied shyly.

"Okay then." Jay decided.

"Okay?"

"We're exclusive." Jay nodded and Emma beamed at him.

"But Jay?"

"Huh?"

"Do we have to tell people right away? Because I kinda want to just enjoy this, before everyone starts to interfere."

"Why would people interfere?" Jay questioned.

"Because it's Degrassi." She rolled her eyes.

_Good point._ "Sure. But what if someone ask if I'm dating that sex little blonde known as Emma Nelson?" Jay asked with a smirk.

"Then tell them," Emma giggled. "I don't want to lie, I just don't want people to try and ruin us before we even have a chance."

"So basically, we're sneaking around until we get caught." _That actually sounds really hot._

"Pretty much." Emma nodded, taking a bite of her fry.

"So the only thing that's changed after this little conversation is the fact that I'm not allowed to kiss other girls." Jay pouted.

"Would you have anyway?" Emma asked.

"No." he shrugged.

"That's what I thought." She said with a smug smirk.

Jay just shook his head with a laugh. _She knows me so well._

**A/N:** Yay, they're official! Sort of. I'm sorry this chapter's a little short, but I wasn't sure what else to put in it. Hopefully I can make the next chapter longer to make up for it. Does this feel too rushed to anyone. Because in my head, it feels like its at a good pace (maybe because I know the timeline, but as I'm rereading it, it doesn't seem the same, but I don't want to add filer chapters for the sake of filers (especially since this already seamed filerish, but I thought it needed it's own chapter). Thoughts?

**A/N 2.0:** I almost forgot. The song for this chapter is _You Get Me – Michelle Branch_ (mostly because I couldn't think of a better song for this chapter, so if you have any suggestions, I'll take them) and Emma's outfit is:

.

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.com/T-U-K-Womens-A7722L-Pump-Black/dp/B002UMVTZ6/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&s=shoes&qid=1274582614&sr=1-6


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